Wednesday, 10 October 2012

  • Decoding Dating Sites

    There are many things that women say on dating sites, I'd like to shed some light on them.

    "I'm down to earth"= "I daydream a lot"
    Tomboy/ guys girl= I like going to sausagefests because being the only girl around a bunch of guys makes me superior because I can play the vag card.
    "I'm laid back" = uptight bitch
    "I like having fun" = I like to be boring and don't know what I want to do for fun.
    "I like country music/ I'm a country girl"= WHITE GUYS ONLY
    "I like goth stuff"= WHITE GUYS ONLY
    "I like shopping"= I'm materialistic
    "I like being around my kid"=I'm forced to be around my kid because I can't find a damn babysitter so expect to see a high chair on our dates.

    "I'm sarcastic"= I'm a bipolar bitch

    One second she's this:

    and the next second, she's this:

     

    "I like older men"= I want a guy who is richer and more established than me so I can spend his money when he dies before I do.

    "I like photography"=I like taking grainy self shots in my bathroom

    I'm athletic= NO FATTIES


    Anything you know feel free to ask= I'm lazy so you should make the first move.

     

    It's a good thing I can speak woman, right?

     

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Comments (14)

  • isitreal_no

    hahaha you may be onto something...I'm sarcastic and my first bf used to call me his bipolar-bear. I've come to handle my emotions much much better over the last five years since then, but still...
  • Dungeonbrownies
    I essentially had to learn these the hard way -_-;
  • tokyoexpressman

    On the money issue: I used to test my crushes by finding a reason to go the mall with them and look around, then I'd pay attention to the stores they chose to go in, the items they spent the most time looking at, and the price tag of said items. Girls who'd continually spend the whole trip looking at shit like expensive jewelry, clothing with hundred dollar plus price tags, or designer handbags were suspect; girls who actually insinuated that I should buy them something got friend zoned ASAP.

    Also that second picture startled the shit out of me.

  • AmorVomnia7

    I don't understand "I like having fun". I see that kind of shit on anyone's page and I instantly stop reading what they have to say. It's as mind-numbing as reading "pain hurts".
  • fabolousclown

    This is a great research

  • Want2FitIn2Fat2Fit

    Wow, this made me laugh  for a long time. You are,sadly, EXACT in your equals descriptions!  This scares me, somehow.

    Have a good week! xoxo
  • kaitlove__xx

    Pretty damn accurate actually. Thankfully I have a bf that puts up with my shit. My completely honest 'about me' on one of these dating sites would probably go something like this: "I am bipolar, so prepare for rapid mood swings throughout the day. Also, I am really shy for the first couple dates... it'll be like pulling teeth to get me to initiate a conversation, and once we are in a conversation, you will have to work very hard to get me to talk much. Be ready for multiple awkward silences. I can be whiny and over-emotional, and then I can turn into a frigid bitch shortly after, this goes along with my bipolar disorder. I enjoy sex and have a VERY healthy sexual appetite, but you have to prove that you can give me good sex the first time, or I will avoid it at all costs forever after, and the relationship will shortly end... because if the sex is not good to me, then you are essentially worthless. Also, I will hold a lot of things in, so you will have to struggle to figure out what the hell I want, and half of the time I don't even know what the hell is wrong with me. If our relationship lasts any longer than a month, I will probably start to bore you. I'll probably complain about being bored and blame it on you, but I'll shoot down any idea that you have, because I really just like sitting at home doing nothing. I'll also probably blame any of my problems on you. Looking forward to meeting you!! =)"

    Yeah, I don't know how many dates that would get me... lol.  We all have our problems. And I doubt any guy really wants to read the complete truth about a girl on a dating site. It would be so depressing to read through all of them.

  • TheTheologiansCafe

    You need to come up with codes that are positive too.
  • amateurprose

          hahaha. Some very astute observations here!
  • MommaFish89

    Very nice! ... I'd be a little concerned about a woman on a dating site. Same with a man. Especially when it comes to their age. It's like "Age: 25 - really means... Physically 36, mentally 19." Or "I like to have fun: I'm looking for a baby-sitter for when I get drunk and act like I ain't got no damn sense". Yea, that sounds about right. Or "I like being with my kids: I like being with them when I have no choice but I'd gladly drop them for a hunky meat-sack". I've seen that happen a lot. >.<
  • SlackerSociety

    @kaitlove__xx - yeah, I wouldnt date you. I have had too many women like you, and it never got to the sex part. I know how to keep a relationship, it is just getting one that I suck at.
  • mynameisblueskye

    ""I like country music/ I'm a country girl"= WHITE GUYS ONLY
    "I like goth stuff"= WHITE GUYS ONLY"


    Hahaha! That's cold, but expected. What are your thoughts about women who admit they are bipolar or something to that nature. My take on it is that I can probably learn to handle your flaws better, if you are more upfront on it all. I appreciate that kind of girl. When a girl I knew told me about that, all I did was stay on the right side of her, encourage her, and I was doing pretty good. I noticed some people with bipolar disorder just wants some kind of happiness or understanding within their life and some things, big and small, can really get to them. All you got to do is not be that small piece of disenchantment and you are in the money. What do you think of girls who are upfront about what they have on certain dates or sites?
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