Saturday, 28 July 2012
Well, there is only one reason in which I learned women are not to be trusted, and unsurprisingly most of it spawns from the beast known as the Lifetime channel.
When growing up, I was the only male in my family. In being the only male, I was always expected to do the work of the only guy, with no prior male figures to instruct me. (Of course, you may hear me refer to "Dad" in my posts, he is actually my best friend's father, whom I have known since I was in middle school, but has done so much for me that I consider him to be).
In my impoverished family, we had only one TV for quite a while (I had to work my ass off to change that when we brought a PS1) so it was turned on to whatever I didn't want to watch.
This means...yes, The Lifetime channel.
You know, the channel whose programming is solely dedicated to increase paranoia in women of men while still conveying the message that they are superior to them in everything. Since this is the era before Bravo, its demographic was obviously post menopausal women and gay men, but enough with the jokes, I could honestly go on and on why I hate this channel.
1) I saw a movie on this channel once when I was about 11 that absolutely mortified me. A woman and her husband had been together for a couple of years, and the wife really wanted a baby, but the husband turned her down, saying that he wasn't ready.
Right before they are about to have sex, the husband asks his trusted wife to get a condom. She says "sure". THE BITCH GETS A NEEDLE AND POKES HOLES IN THE CONDOM WHILE IT IS STILL IN THE PACKAGE WHILE HE ISN'T LOOKING. And sure enough about a month after, she is pregnant...
And that is why I buy my own condoms, and no one else touches them except me.
2) Most of the programming on Lifetime involves men being the aggressor. I can't tell you how many movies I've seen about ANOTHER abusive dad or boyfriend, ANOTHER woman being raped, ANOTHER woman being killed by a man, ANOTHER male child molester...I was initially drawn in to believing this, hoping I wouldn't be like one of these guys, but then over time, after so much of this bullshit, I became jaded. I as a young adolescent for some reason became aware that being strong-minded would most likely put me over the edge of these "aggressors" that I rarely hear about anyway. also, simply doing a marathon of the original Tomb Raider with no memory card kept me busy(I have done it, but it is FUCKING HARD, and don't get me started on Final Fantasy 7)
3) because of this extensive programming that #2 put into my head, I was always apprehensive around women, simply because I didn't want them to know that I was one of those guys in all those movies I saw on Lifetime. This is a detriment, because I was always trying to be nice to women and that got me "nice guyed" and friend zoned more often than I should have been. Sure, I sort of made up for it in high school, but I was still convalescent from all that bullshit. It wasn't until well after high school that I fully recovered, but to this day I still think about how brainwashing that channel is to women, and hapless males who have the misfortune to watch ANYTHING on there, gay or straight.
4) Talk shows. I can name ALL of them that I have seen in my female dominated household. Sally Jesse Raphael, Riki Lake, Jenny Jones, and Maury, just to name a few(Jerry Springer wasn't a talk show, it was a shitstorm). My point is that talk shows are the absolute worst thing a male could ever watch, because it conditioned you to think that talking things over on live television was the most effective way to deal with your problems. I also became jaded to this.
Hmmmm.... here's a suggestion, why don't you actually DO something about your problem instead of talk about it? abusive boyfriend/husband, DROP HIS ASS. Cheating S.O.? DROP THEIR ASS. Don't know if this guy is the guy that put the baby gravy in you and now you're stuck with a kid? STOP OPENING YOU LEGS AND BEING SUCH A FUCKING SLUT. OR GET AN ABORTION.
Story: One time I was watching Maury with my ever so loving family. They were doing paternity tests, as per maury's shtick. Maury came out and said: "And lilpimp mcjeezy, you are...NOT the father of Hobag Mcjenkins' baby."
I was FUCKING ELATED. I got up and was shouting "YEAH YEAH THAT'S RIGHT HE'S NOT THE FATHER!"
i WAS PRETTY MUCH THIS GUY. (Don't sneer at the embed, the vid is only 30 seconds and is crucial to my point, it doesn't get any better than this people)
(that nigga got DOWN. KILLIN IT)
After that I got slapped down by my mom who then said(you have to hear my imitation, its better than text) "Shut the hell up bwoy dat girl need to find dat baby's daddy!"
(You have to understand, there is NEVER a victory for the guys, they are ALWAYS the dad. THAT is why I was excited, because after a while, I thought they were all rigged that the guy was the daddy, you know like a game show...a horrible, horrible game show)
If you just scrolled down I want to hit the highlights or rather the highlight, of why I don't trust women: THEY BLAME MEN FOR EVERYTHING. Then wonder why there are no worthwhile men when those men say fuck you and get a foreign woman or why men simply use women as sex objects and nothing more. It is because you watched the Lifetime channel.